I'm doing the best I can.

Something I've been thinking a lot about over the last couple of weeks is how I put myself down.  I like myself.  I have high self esteem, but I constantly put myself down in the form of generalizations I use to explain why I'm not as good as I think I should be.

Today is Sunday, and all day I've been avoiding doing a big cleanup in my kitchen and putting away my sewing stuff from a project I finished Friday night.  Last night I had good intentions of cleaning both the kitchen and my craft room, but instead, Alyssa asked me to do art collages with her and I sure wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to hang out with one of my kids.  

This afternoon while making lunch I said, "I should clean this kitchen right now, but I'm a horrible homemaker."  Why would I say that?  I could have said, "This kitchen is extra messy because the kids have been home on Christmas break for two weeks, I could have done it last night, but I was being a good mom by spending time with one of my kids.  I want to enjoy my Sunday, so the dishes I did today are good enough and I can do the rest tomorrow." but instead I put myself down.  Just because my kitchen is messy today does not mean I'm a horrible homemaker.  

I also say things like, "My kids don't go to church because I'm a crappy mom." or when I say no to doing something or being charge of something, I'll say, "I'm sorry, but I can't.  I'm really flaky these days."  My kids don't go to church because they have their own agency and they choose not to.  That doesn't mean I'm a crappy mom.  I have taught them what I believe and been an example to them.  That's all I can do.  

I can't be in charge of as much as I used to because I'm a full time caregiver with a lot of appointments and our day to day can be unpredictable.  That doesn't mean I'm flaky.  It means I'm in a different stage of life right now and can't do all that I use to.

As women, we seem to put a lot of unnecessary guilt on ourselves.  Every time our kids rebel we think it's our fault.  Every time our house isn't spotless we think it means we aren't clean enough.  Every time we say no to someone we think we aren't good enough.  WHY DO WE DO THIS?  

We will never have perfect kids, a perfect marriage, a perfect house, be able to help everyone we want to help or do everything we wish we could do.  We. just. can't.   We KNOW we can't do it all.  If we heard a friend putting guilt on themselves or being mean to themselves because of something like this we'd tell them to knock it off!  If we can be forgiving of the "faults" of our friends and neighbors, why can't we be forgiving and understanding of ourselves?

I'm doing the best I can!

Every day, sometimes all day every day, I say to myself, "I'm doing the best I can!"  I say it to my husband.  I say it to my kids.  I say it out loud and I say it in my mind.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed with everything I feel like I'm failing at.   

One thing I'm working on is letting go of the word "fail" in my vocabulary.  Just because I'm not where my brain tells me I should be, doesn't mean I'm failing.  I'm doing good!  My house is reasonably clean and organized, my kids are smart and funny, my marriage is happy, I have great friends and I have a lot of gifts and talents.  The end... not my house is clean, but blah blah blah it's not as clean as it could be.  It's fine!   We as women need to learn to state the facts and leave off the negative buts or becauses at the end.  We owe it to ourselves.  I'm doing awesome and so are you!  

2016, Here I Come!

It's New Year's Eve!  I've been pondering on my goals and my word for 2016 all week.  I've decided my word of the year will be MAGIC!  I want to make magic, witness magic and experience magic in 2016.  It's going to be a magical year!

I feel like there are so many parts of my life I want to improve on this year, but I don't want to set myself up for failure by setting too many lofty goals so I've decided to pick one goal in seven different areas of my life to work on this year:

Spiritual-  Spiritual comes first on my list because God is number one in my life.  My spiritual goal for 2016 is to attend the temple at least four times during the year.  I love the peace and clarity that comes from temple attendance.  I'd like to say I'm going to attend weekly or even monthly, but realistically I'll be doing good to make it every few months, so that's the plan. 

Physical-  My physical goal is to lose 20 pounds.  I've put on 20 pounds over the last couple of years, on top of already having been overweight, and after some serious concern expressed by my doctor I've decided I need to get serious about getting healthy.  I'm hoping by losing 20 pounds I'll also lower my blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar levels.  My husband is working on losing weight too, so this is something we will be doing together.  Go team!

Intellectual-  My intellectual goal for the year is to possibly start school this fall.  "Possibly" is pretty weak, but although going to school is part of my plan for the year, I have to be open to the possibility that it won't happen due to my husband's health and my taking care of him.  I've been kicking around the idea of going to a two year culinary arts school, but I've also considered doing something more serious, like psychology or public relations, which would allow me to do online school, if necessary.   A big dream of mine is to go to school to learn herbal medicine, but I don't know if the VA's education benefits would cover something like that.  The bottom line is there's a very good chance I'll be starting school this year, but I'm not sure how, where or for what yet!

Emotional-  My emotional goal for 2016 is to finish the book I've been writing.  It's extremely therapeutic to write out my feelings and experiences about my life as a caregiver to a disabled veteran.  My target audience will be other caregivers of veterans with PTSD, psychosis, depression, anxiety, etc.  It's amazing when you spend time with other people dealing with the same challenges you are and see their eyes light up when they realize they are not alone in their trials.  I'm hoping this book can do that as well.  I'm planning for it to be a quick and easy read because caregivers don't usually have a lot of time for themselves.  Getting everything out on paper is a great emotional release for me!

Social-  My social life has truly suffered this past year.  While I've made great connections with other caregivers through support groups, online groups and Wounded Warrior Project activities, my day to day social life has been almost non-existent!  My social goal for the year is to invite friends over to my house at least once a month.  Tea parties, game nights, lunches and potlucks are all in my plan for 2016.  I'm hoping by hosting events once again people will remember I'm here and I will start getting invitations once again for social outings.  I miss my friends!

Financial-   My financial goal for 2016 is to pay off my van and refinance our house into a 15 year mortgage.   My long-term goal it to put the monthly van payment money towards our mortgage to actually pay down the 15 year loan in 12!   How exciting would that be?

Adventure-  It wouldn't be a New Year's resolution list for me without a travel goal!  My goal is once again to visit at least one state I've never been to before!  We're also seriously considering a trip to Costa Rica this summer to visit all the Costa Rican family members I've never met!  That would be an adventure for sure... I don't speak spanish and my family members don't speak english!

What about you?  Have you made any goals for the new year?

A Look Back at 2015

Walking into our house for the reveal.

2015 has been a little crazy, to say the least!  One of the most interesting parts of the year was getting a home makeover in November!  I'm not even sure how it all happened, it was such a whirlwind, but one moment we were just living our life and all of a sudden, a few days later, we were emptying out our house and letting volunteer crews have free run of the place.  We did several new interviews about the makeover, including one for NBCs Nightly News with Lester Holt!  Our favorite things that were done to our house were getting a new furnace and windows!  How cool is that?  My kids love their bedroom makeovers and the complete overall of our basement, which is their hangout spot.  I'm still amazed it happened!

Another incredible happening in 2015 was taking TWO trips to New York!  My husband is featured in a documentary called, Thank You for Your Service.  In November we were able to attend the world premiere at NYC Doc, the New York City documentary film festival!  The showing sold out and there was a huge after party as well... Attention and crowds are not things my husband necessarily loves or does well in, but I loved it!  We were able to stay in NYC for six days and attend a couple of shows.  We even popped over to New Jersey for a day just so I could mark it off my list of states we've been to together.  I loved New York, my husband hated it, but love it or hate it, we did it!  I even bought a dress at my favorite vintage-style dress shop for the occasion, which was a huge deal to me!   

Two weeks after our NYC trip we were flown to West Point, New York for another showing of the film, this time on the West Point Academy campus!  The atmosphere was totally different but equally amazing.  West Point was so beautiful.  We stayed at the historic Thayer Hotel and were able to take a tour of the campus.  It was a short trip, but I loved it so much!  I really love all the people associated with the documentary.  It's like having another family.  

I had been to New York City before 20 years ago (boy, I'm getting old!), but this was my first time seeing another part of the state.  Travel has always been a huge dream of mine, so being able to visit new places with my husband was a great part of 2015 for me!  He is such a good sport.  He's really not a fan of all the attention he gets with the movie or spending time away from home in unfamiliar places, but he goes because it's important to me.  I really believe in the message of Thank You for Your Service and what they're trying to do to improve the mental health care system of our armed forces!

     

In September I attended a Wounded Warrior Project retreat for wives of wounded warriors.  It was exactly what I needed to recharge my batteries!  Being a full time caregiver to a disabled vet is something that can be extremely emotionally, physically and mentally draining!  Spending time with other women in similar situations was so amazing and the workshops we participated in were uplifting and positive.  I loved it so much!

In August we were able to attend a Wounded Warrior Project family retreat at the National Ability Center.  There was soaking at the Crater, archery, bike riding, boating and so much more!  We were able to spend four days with other families similar to ours.  I loved seeing my kids step away from electronic devices and participate in activities they wouldn't usually try.  Alyssa is actually amazing at archery!  Who knew?

Nina with her uncle and aunt

2015 brought about some big milestones in our family as well!  Nina graduated both high school and cosmetology school, turned 18 AND moved out of the house!  She's living in Salt Lake City, working two jobs and doing really well!  Having her move out actually improved our relationship a lot too.  

Alyssa got her learner's permit this year and Caleb started 9th grade!  Big milestones for both of them.  It's been a year of growth for all three of my kids.

In just a few years they'll all be out of the house living their own lives!  It's hard to believe that they're all getting so old.

We took several camping trips in 2015.  We visited American Fork Canyon, Hobble Creek Canyon, the Nebo Loop, Yuba Lake and Bear Lake, Idaho!  My husband and I also spent a few days in Jackson Hole, Wyoming for my birthday in April.  It's been a great year for getting out and seeing new things!  Our little camper has gotten a lot of use.

In October we attended a huge masquerade ball at the Utah State Capitol building!  Of course, once again my husband was not a fan, but the rest of us had a ball (get it... a ball... haha).  It was a dream come true for me to dress up and attend a ball!

In early 2015 we started on a new treatment plan for my husband with new doctors, new medications and a new counseling center.  It's been a bumpy, but productive road.  I've been able to be a part of several online vet's wives groups, become part of the national VA Caregiver Program, attend a weekly support group for wives at the Vet Center and our family has been able to participate in several Wounded Warrior Project events!  I've seen many incredible changes in my husband this year.  He had a three week hospital stay in the early summer, which was a big turning point and ever since I've made it a huge priority for me to have a great support team consisting of others who are in similar situations.  I've made a lot of new friends this year!

This year we started going to the movies weekly and love seeing movies in the luxury recliner seats on $5 Tuesdays.  We also feed the missionaries lunch every week, which has been a great experience.   I love having missionaries in my home so often!

I've read several books this year and even started writing a non-fiction book of my own.  After Nina moved out I was able to make myself a craft room again and have gotten back into scrapbooking and crafting.  Creating things is a great stress reliever!

We had a garden this summer and I enjoyed canning the foods I grew.   I have also really loved learning about medicinal herbs this year and have made many tinctures and teas and learned how to use them.  

A year ago I swore that 2015 would be the best year ever... Looking back on it, I have to say that it was!  There were a lot of bumps and bruises throughout the year, but overall it's been amazing!  I look forward to 2016 being even better!  

Am I Still a Writer?

Am I still a writer?  This question has plagued me the last couple of weeks.  I used to refer to myself as a writer, but I rarely take the time to write anymore.


A couple of weeks ago I helped my husband write a talk for sacrament meeting.  He jotted down the gist of what he wanted to say on notepaper and I put it together, added in quotes and scriptures and just made it flow... So many people commented on how well written his talk was and although he really gets credit because he did an AMAZING job, and I promise I'll share the talk with you soon, it got me thinking about writing again.  I really enjoyed helping him take the message he wanted to share, use his words combined with my talent and make it into something fabulous.

I was in a group support meeting for caregivers on Saturday and the therapist referred to me as a writer and I asked myself the question, Am I still a writer?  I love writing, helping my husband with his talk reminded me of that.  I want to consider myself a writer, but to be a writer don't I need to actually write something?

It's been an interesting year.  I am happier than I've ever been.  I love being married to my best friend, but there are also many challenges that come with being a full time caregiver to a disabled veteran.  One of the things that constantly gets drilled into the heads of caregivers is to make the time to take care of yourself.  Writing is therapeutic for me, so I've decided I need to make it a priority again!

Last week in church my husband started nudging me and telling me I should go up and bear my testimony and I said, "I don't have anything to say."  He snorted and responded, "That would be a first!"  He's right.  I do always have something to say.

On this blog I have recipes and craft ideas to share.  I have vintage finds to show and tell.  I have parenting stories, caregiver stories, ptsd stories and testimonies to bear.  I have women to connect with and friendships to make and strengthen.  I AM a writer!  I don't want to lose that part of me so I'm here to publicly say...   I'm blowing the dust off this old blog and putting it to regular use again, not because I feel guilty about it or because people are asking me to, but because when people ask me what I do I want to be able to say once again, I'm a writer!

New Year, New Start 2015

Every new year I like to take some time to reflect on the goals I set for the previous year and decide where I need my focus to be for the year to come.  Yesterday I sat down with a dirty Dr. Pepper, a sugar cookie and my very patient husband and made a list of projects that need to get done around the house and thought about what goals I wanted to set for myself for 2015.

2014 started out rocky... halfway through the year I had one of those life-changing experiences I seem to be so fond of.  I had to pick myself up (with a lot of help) and the rest of the year did not turn out how I had planned... That being said, the second half of 2014 has been one of the best times of my life so far and in December I was able to be married to my best friend.

There are some people placed in your life for a reason and Jake is one of those.  We've always had a deep connection and after being best friends for five years we decided it was time for us to be married.  We had a very quiet, very spiritual ceremony with only us, our bishop and two witnesses.  It was beautiful and perfect.

My kids decided once again that they wanted a vacation instead of big Christmas gifts and we spent Christmas in Las Vegas!  It was a really weird, but super fun way to celebrate the holiday!

We saw Into the Woods on Christmas Eve and went to MJ Live (a Michael Jackson tribute show) on Christmas Day.  We had such a good time... and it was much warmer than home!

The botanical gardens at the Bellagio were absolutely beautiful for Christmas.  Taking a vacation as a family has become one of my favorite Christmas traditions.  We don't need more "stuff", but you can never have enough memories!

This past week as New Year's Day has been approaching I've been thinking a lot about what I want to happen in 2015.  2015 is a year of fresh starts and new experiences!  Today is my last day babysitting my nephews and niece.  I've had my 10 1/2 month old baby niece in my home since she was a newborn along with her 4 and 11 year old brothers.  Scarlett thinks of me as a second mom and it will be a big adjustment to have an empty house during the day.  Jake and I decided that it was best for our relationship and our family to not have extra kids here full time.  We want to have time by ourselves when my kids are at their dad's house, we want to get all the daunting projects around the house done that have been neglected plus I want to work on my vintage business on a more regular basis.  It has been next to impossible to keep up with it with a baby.  There are so many changes happening it's a little overwhelming, but they are all positive changes!

For the first time in a long time I am really, truly, deeply happy.  I wasn't quite sure I'd ever reach that point again.  I always try to remain positive and seek for the best, but it's a nice change to have true joy in my heart without having to force it or look for it!  I believe that 2015 is going to be an amazing year!

My word for 2014 was ORDER.  I've decided there isn't a better one and I'm going to keep it around for another year.  As we work on projects around the house, the business, our finances, my children, schedules and everything else I still like the word, ORDER.  It describes what I'm striving for.  When I have order I feel at peace.  The year of 2015 WILL bring ORDER to all aspects of my life!

The three goals I've decided on for 2015 are:

1- Spend 4 hours every week on this blog.

2- Visit a state I've never been to before.

3- Book a cruise for my family.

Have I mentioned how much I love this guy?  Even when I want to strangle him my heart is so happy that we are together.  

I'm so thankful for the blessings I've received this year and for the knowledge I have of my Heavenly Father and the fact that His plan and His timing rarely match up with our plan and our timing, but He DOES have a plan for us and if we are patient and have faith we can have everything we ever wanted and more.

Happy 2015!

Easy Pioneer Trek Skirts from Thrift Store Sheets & My Own Trek

 

Welcome to The American Homemaker!  Thanks for visiting.

I'm sure there are people out there who will never have need for a pioneer outfit.... but if you're anything like our family then pioneer outfits are randomly needed quite often.  Next week Nina is going on a pioneer handcart trek and she needs two skirts.  I have several pioneer dresses, but she needed skirts and button up shirts.  I LOVE using thrift store/yard sale sheets for costume making, especially for pioneer outfits.  There is no cheaper way to get a good piece of fabric.  I whipped up two skirts in under an hour, start to finish.

Here are the step by step-by-step instructions for making a pioneer skirt from a sheet or a 2 1/2-3 yard piece of fabric.  The instructions are the same either way.

A twin sheet will be 96" long, which is about 2 2/3 yards long.  If you're using fabric, you'll want to use at least 2 1/2 yards, but no more than 3 yards... unless you are a bigger person.  Lay the fabric flat on the ground.  Measure your subject from waist to ankle.  This is how much fabric you'll need to cut.  If you are making the skirt for someone short (5' or less) you'll be able to get two skirts from one sheet.  Skirts for a pioneer trek are recommended to be anywhere from mid-calf to ankle length.  If you are making mid-calf length skirts, you'll be able to get two from a sheet even if you're a little taller than 5'.  When using fabric, you may not need to cut the fabric at all.

You will be using the finished edge of the sheet (or salvaged side of fabric) for the bottom of the skirt so no hemming will be necessary.   Fold your sheet in half the long way measuring from the fold to the finished edge.  Adjust your sheet until you have the size you need (the waist to ankle measurements you took).

Cut along the fold line.  Cutting this way keeps your cut nice and straight.

If your sheet/fabric is really wrinkly go ahead and iron it.  I gave Nina an ironing lesson and had her iron the fabric for her skirts.

Next you'll want to iron your elastic casing to make it quicker and easier to sew.  First iron just a small fold on the cut edge down the whole length of the fabric.

Next measure 1/4-1/2 bigger than the width of your elastic so you'll know how big you need your casing to be.  I have used anything from 1/2"-1 3/4" elastic for the skirt waists.  Iron your casing.

Sew a straight line near the edge of your fold to secure the casing.

Measure the waist of your model to know how much elastic you'll need.  I cut my elastic right at the waist measurement without adding any extra.

Use a safety pin to thread the elastic through the casing.

Sew your two side together, wrong-sides-out, doubling your stitches over the elastic to secure it well.

Turn it right-side-out and you're done!  Less than 30 minutes start to finish!

This one was made out of fabric I had on hand instead of a sheet.  The special thing about this fabric is Nina had a pioneer dress made out of it when she was six!  Now she has a pioneer skirt made from it as well.

All set for Trek!

We've been getting Nina all ready for trek for a couple of weeks... buying her special shoes and socks, telling her to start preparing, worrying about everything she'll need, etc and then Thursday I got a phone call from my best friend, Jake saying, "Guess what we're doing tomorrow??? Bring some hiking shoes, clothes, snacks and come up to my house."   Oh boy!  I am NOT hiker.  I don't own hiking shoes, I barely even own any shoes that aren't heels or flip-flops.  My extent of working out is 30 minutes of yoga or 20 minutes of the shred.  I was NOT prepared for a serious hike on a trail rated "difficult" and "not for first time hikers".  But I said ok!

We took the Skyline Trail close to North Ogden.  It's a long uphill trail with a ton of switch-backs. 

This was about a mile into the hike... I was already wanting to die!

We didn't make it all the way to the top, but you can see how high up we were... This is as high as we got while we could still see the tiny speck of our car.  The hot pink arrow and writing I added (click to enlarge the pic) is our car.

This was the first rattlesnake we saw on the trail (after Jake shot it).  It was the small one.  The other one was VERY large.  We had planned on camping overnight without a tent, but after seeing more than one rattlesnake right on the trail we decided to head back to the car before dark.

This is when we stopped to eat on our way back down... I was SO tired!  We hiked several miles in a four hour span.

You can see how NOT prepared my feet were for the hike!  If you are sending a child on trek, please, please, please make sure their feet are more prepared than mine were!  Two days later I still have massive pain in my joints and muscles too!  I could barely walk yesterday and I still really hurt today!

I tried to keep a happy face on the whole way even though I wanted to die!

The scenery was beautiful!

We made it back to the parking lot right as it was getting dark (thank goodness)... I can't believe how high up we climbed!  For two wussy people who are not hikers we did a pretty dang good job of it and I'm proud of us! :)

Homemade Maple Bacon Sundaes and Happy Birthday to Me!

These homemade maple bacon sundaes were so fun and delicious!

 We decided to celebrate my birthday yesterday because I wasn't supposed to have my kids this weekend, BUT their dad didn't take them so I'm just having an extra long birthday weekend instead of one day! 

I keep hearing the Denny's ads for their bacon sundaes and decided I HAD to try them myself.  I bought extra thick "steak cut" bacon, made a fabulous maple cream sauce and they were so awesome!  This sauce is amazing on pancakes (which I'm eating right now) and would work on any number of things... cake, fruit, ice cream, oatmeal... Mmmmm!  Because it has cream in it you'll want to refrigerate it and use it up in a few days, a week at the most.


Homemade Maple Cream Sauce

1 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. corn syrup
1 c. whipping cream
1/2 tsp maple flavoring

Bring everything to a boil whisking the whole time.  Boil one minute.  Let cool to warm before serving.  After keeping in the fridge, microwave to warm, stirring often.

Yesterday before our amazing sundaes we went to the farm and then out to dinner.  I LOVE the baby animals!

This baby cow is just a couple of weeks old!  I love him!  I want one!  (That doesn't grow up lol)

I love pygmy goats!  We used to have one and I'd love to have one again.  Don't be surprised if we end up with a pygmy goat in the next year or so.

This little baby was SO sweet!  He was super cuddly.

After the farm we cleaned up and went to pizza!  Eggplant, spinach, artichokes, tomatoes and more veggies made for a delightful pizza!!!

Me and my sis and all the kids!

My first pic as a 32 year old!  And yes, it was right about midnight, hence the red eyes!

Today I'm hosting a birthday girls night out since today is my actual birthday (April 29th).  If you're local, come on over!

And in the tradition of "about me" birthday postings, I thought I'd share one random fact about me!  Speaking of ice cream sundaes, I have NEVER had a brain freeze in my whole life.  BUT I get back freezes all the time if I eat something too cold too fast.  Crazy, huh?

Happy birthday to me!  This is gonna be a fun weekend!