The BEST piece of parenting advice for moms of teens

When our children are young we can shelter them and keep them in a bubble, but as they get older we have to give them freedom and the ability to make their own decisions and their own mistakes, even though it's hard for us.  We have life experiences and we know what the outcome will be when our kids make bad choices, but we have to let them make those choices and deal with those consequences.

Our Heavenly Father feels the same way about us.  He has more knowledge than we do.  He knows what will happen when we make decisions, but He allows us the agency to make our own choices, both wrong and right.  Sometimes we pray and ask and even beg for things that He doesn't provide.  We feel like He isn't listening, but really He IS listening.  He just knows better than we do.  How often do our kids beg and plead and cry for something that we have to say no to because it isn't in their best interest?  It may be staying up too late, wearing immodest clothing, going to an inappropriate movie or dating too young. From the time our kids can walk we are telling them no.  Don't touch that, don't climb on that, don't eat that; these are all things little kids don't want to hear, but we know better than them, just like our Heavenly Father knows better than us.

WE are His children.  And just like our own children make mistakes, we make mistakes too.  As our kids get older those mistakes can become wedges in your relationship with them.  Teenagers often pull away from their parents, especially when the teenagers are doing things they know their parents don't approve of.  A lot of that pulling away is because our kids think that we won't love them anymore if they don't fit into the mold of what we think they should be.  How often do we pull away from our Father in Heaven because we feel like we aren't being the person He wants us to be?

The greatest thing I know about my Heavenly Father is that He loves me no matter what.  He loves me even though I'm not perfect.  He loves me even though I make mistakes.  He loves me even though sometimes I cry and whine at Him and beg Him for things that He just isn't going to give me.

Because unconditional love is offered by my Heavenly Father to me, I KNOW that I must offer unconditional love to my kids as well.

It sounds easy to just love them and yet I see so many parents with young teenagers who are kicking their kids out of the house, treating them badly or shutting them out of the family because the kids are doing things they disagree with.

I have three teenagers.  In our family we've experienced eating disorders, cutting, depression, anxiety and suicide pacts with friends.  We've had girls with hair every color of the rainbow and girls with heads shaved completely bald, along with mo-hawks, death-hawks, bi-hawks and clothing I would have never in a million years picked out for my daughters.  My daughters have dated boys who are nothing that I would have wanted for them.  We've experienced kids who've decided they don't want anything to do with church, kids who don't want anything to do with God and kids whose religious, political and social beliefs go against everything I've ever taught them.

But through all of this I have an extremely strong and personal relationship with each of my children.  My 18 year old, who is now living on her own, texts me every single day and comes home for a couple of days at least three times a month.  My 16 year old asks me to sit and do collages with her and to "go on adventures" with her.  She tells me about her life and complains when I say I need to go to bed at night.  My 14 year old son hugs me every time he sees me.

 I may not agree with my kids' beliefs and choices, but I love them and THEY KNOW IT.

When you have teenagers you realize that they are their own people.  Yes, they still need you, but once they leave the walls of your home to go to school or out with friends then you have no control over what their actions are.  You can be a good example, you can teach them, you can lecture them, you can discipline them, but essentially they are who they are and they will make the decisions that they want to make.  All you can do is just love them.  No matter what they do, just love them.

They need love more than anything.  They need to know that whatever they do, whatever mistakes they make, whatever friends they have, whatever causes they believe in, whatever person they are, you will love them.  This doesn't mean that we ignore bad behavior.  A parent is still a parent, but make sure that they know that although you may hate their actions, and sometimes need to disciple them for those actions, you don't hate them as a person.

Being loving, truly loving, parents is something we should all strive for, however young or old our children are.  We know that our Heavenly Father will always have His arms outstretched for us, even if we feel we don't deserve it and I strive to be the kind of parent who always has my arms outstretched to my children as well.

The best piece of advice I can give to other parents of teenagers?  Just love them.

Mean Girls

Yesterday while I was at Nina's school being a model for her Halloween fashion show Nina pointed out a girl who had taken a picture of her in class without her knowing it, posted it online and made fun of her... of course one of Nina's friends saw it and showed Nina.  Not only that, but the girl's mom even commented on the picture. Nina thinks that the girl's mom is my fb friend although I have no idea who she is.  To that mom and any other moms of "mean girls":  

I am thankful every single day that I have a beautiful, confident, fabulous daughter who loves herself and doesn't care what people think about her. She took a long hard road to get to the place she is now and I'm grateful she's here.  Women often don't gain their full self esteem until they're adults with children of their own and many never do.  A big reason for that is girls are so harsh to one another.

Girls who feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better are lacking true beauty and it shows.  I watched this girl throughout the day yesterday as I sat in the hair and makeup chair.  I saw how she interacted with those around her, how she looked and spoke to other girls.  She may have been very Barbie-like on the outside, but I felt sorry for her.

The confidence and self love that shines through my daughter's eyes can't be faked or bought. She is gorgeous and it radiates from her.  Shaved head, death hawk, bihawk, crazy makeup and all I have an extremely beautiful daughter who is noticed from a block away because she doesn't want to be like everyone else.  She loves herself and wants to stand out and it shows.  Her style isn't one I would choose and I don't always understand it, but I encourage her to express herself through her looks.

Making fun of her style didn't hurt her feelings, it just made her (and I) not like the girl who did it,  but if this had happened to a less confident teenage girl, even to Nina a couple years ago it could have been devastating and had serious results.  The teenage years are a tough time for girls.  They're hard on themselves, they don't need other girls to be hard on them too and with the internet it's a lot easier for girls to be mean to each other in a very public way which makes matters worse.

I have teenager daughters... One is extreme in her looks and one is traditional.  They are both normal girls.  They make fun of other girls.  They can be jerks... BUT when I hear them talking meanly about someone or putting people down I say something.  I tell them to knock it off and quit being brats. I point out the good in others.  I try to help them to see things they may be missing.  As moms it is our job to teach our girls to treat each other with respect.  They might laugh at me when I'm listing good qualities in someone, but at least my words are there as the Jiminy Cricket on their shoulder. 

In school I didn't like the mean girls.  I didn't want to be like them.  I tried to be nice to everyone no matter what their social standing or how they looked.  I danced every dance because the nerdy boys knew I wouldn't say no to them like so many other girls did.  I was still pretty.  I still made the cheerleading squad.  I was still voted drama club president.  I still had friends.  You can be nice AND still have the full high school experience.  In the years since facebook came about I've received messages from people I went to school with thanking me for always being nice to them in high school and I've received messages from people saying they're sorry for being mean in high school.  Eventually we grow up (hopefully), which do you want your daughter to be?

Teach your girls to stand up for the outcasts, the crazies, the nerds, the freaks... They are some of the best people you can ever know who will grow up to do some of the most extraordinary things and beyond that, they are someone's daughter.  My daughter may have been able to shrug off someone making fun of her, but it hurt MY heart to hear about it.  Just like all the most important things our children need to learn, learning to be nice should start at home.

Chore Time

I haven't had a "formal" chore system since my kids were young.  I just write a few chores on our chalkboard each day and they each pick one.   This system works for us... The problem is there were a lot of deep cleaning chores that just weren't getting done.  This past year has been a little insane, plus I babysit my sister's three kids full time and having a baby in the house again takes up a lot of my time!  I don't remember my kids being so time consuming as babies, but I'm sure they were.  I'm just old and don't remember!  I decided in order to keep up on things around the house I needed to have help!  I have three teenagers so there is no reason they can't be helping out more than one chore a day.  My nephews are 4 and 10 so they can help too.

I made a list of all the chores I needed up help with such as dusting, cleaning off the top of the dryer, wiping down the kitchen cupboards, vacuuming the stairs, etc.  I ended up with 20-something chores.  After I figured out what needed to be done I wrote them down with instructions on index cards.  I organized them by room so someone can grab several from the same room and get to work.  On the back I left a place for a name, date and a spot for me to check it off.  I laminated the cards so we could use them over and over with a dry erase marker, which I keep in the box.  I told the kids that each chore should take about 15 minutes.  I wouldn't check off half-done jobs; I wanted them done well.

Each chore is worth $1 and I give a bonus $1 for every four chores done, so basically they can earn $5 for an hour's worth of work.  This chore system has worked beautifully for us!  The chores are stored in a vintage recipe box which fits in with my decor and the kids know if they want to earn some money that's the way to do it!  I require them to do one chore each week from the box plus they still have their daily chore written on the chalkboard.

When Nina gets bored she's been known to whip out 16 chores in a day and earn $20!   Because they are dated on the back the kids know when they can do a chore.  Each chore only needs to be done weekly and there is a spot for chores that have been finished and signed off.  I never have to dish out more than around $25 a week and since the kids use their money for things I'd probably be paying for anyways like popcorn at the movie, makeup or snow cones I haven't even noticed I'm paying for chores.  Once a week is pay day and everyone is happy!  The kids get money and I get my deep cleaning chores done!  Hooray!

10 Ways to Save Money at Amusement Parks: Guest Blogger

My name is Marie. I am a homeschooling, coupon cutting, organizing wannabe, diet Mt. Dew drinking military wife, blogger and mother of five. I have so many things that I want to be, but am not there yet! You know that phrase, “jack of all trades, master of none” ? Well that is me!

As a resident of Southern California, I am close to quite a few amusement parks.  While our family loves to go and play, I think we can all agree that they are not cheap. Because I have a lot of kids, I have to be really careful or I could spend their college tuition at the park!

Here are my top 10 ways (in no particular order) to save money at amusement parks:

1) Go online before you get to the park! Do not buy your tickets at the gate. Look for discounts through your work, the government, teachers association, homeschooler discounts…there are so many ways to get a discount.

2) Since we live within driving distance of parks, we rarely stay at a hotel. However, when we do, we always stay a bit away from the park. Rates are usually lower. I always look for a place that offers rewards points,  a government discount and a continental breakfast. If I am going to stay there, I am going to try and get something more for my money! Once again, pay attention to any discounts that may be available to you.

3) Go in the off season. I know that this doesn’t always work for everyone, but even pushing your vacation off a week or two can make a difference. We went to Universal Studios over Christmas break and could barely get through the crowds. Two weeks later we practically had the place to ourselves!

4) While I don’t know any park that allows outside food, most have to allow water. So don’t pay for an overpriced water bottle. Bring a refillable bottle in with you and refill through the day. You can also grab drink packets (like Kool Aid, Crystal Light…) from the dollar store and keep those with you.

 5) Don’t forget batteries! I think digital cameras are notorious for sucking up batteries. If you want to capture those moments, make sure to have plenty of extras. I like to go to a warehouse club and grab a nice big pack before I go.

6) When our family went to Legoland, our plan was to go to a fast food place close to the park for lunch. However, it turned out we would have to pay our parking fee again. We had to decide whether it was worth it or not.  There are a few things that we do, to help curb costs. Water only. From OUR water bottles. Just because you may not be able to leave the park, doesn’t mean you can’t go to your car. Keep a cooler filled with snacks and have a picnic at your car. You can have crackers, juice boxes, fruit, sandwiches etc. When we do eat in the park, if there is an all you can eat option, we take it. Our family is big, and we can eat a lot! If there isn’t an all you can eat, we look to see if there is a pizza place. Instead of buying individual meals, we can buy one that is a family size. Have two kids with similar tastes share one adult meal instead of two kids’ meals. 

7) My kids have never met a gift shop that they didn’t  like. Before we go inside, they are told whether or not they have an amount to spend.  Do not make up your mind in the store! Have it set in your mind what is acceptable. We do not go over it. Our family always buys a magnet for our  fridge, it is a great way to see all the places we have been.

8) Our family rule is, “if you can buy it at Target or Wal Mart, you are not buying it here”. I can’t count how many times my kids have brought me an item that they could easily get somewhere else. I also do not allow them to use their budgeted money on candy, food or drinks. Nope, not gonna happen!

9) Just because you are at an amusement park, you can still  find deals in their gift shops. At Six Flags I found my son a Scooby Doo pillow on clearance for $2. It is his “car seat pillow” and he uses it in the car all the time. Look in back corners for items on clearance.

10) Relax and have fun. Do not throw your budget out the window in the name of fun. It isn’t about what you buy, but the experiences shared.

Easy T-Shirt Craft for Kids

This is a project I first did clear back in 2006 for Alyssa's 6th birthday.  We made penguin shirts at her birthday party with all the kids.  You can see her sporting hers while getting ready to blow out her birthday candles.  This picture makes me a little sad... she's so cute and small!  This little girl is turning 12 in three months!  Sheesh!  Time goes by so quickly! *sniff*

I found a couple of small white t-shirts in with my craft supplies and thought I'd let my niece and nephew have fun designing their own shirts.

Their mom is a little snobby (let's see if she actually reads my blog haha) so I haven't seen them actually wear their shirts since they made them, but they had a ton of fun doing the project!

The first step is letting the kids color on their shirts with crayons.  You can have a set design (like we taught all the kids how to make penguins since penguins were Alyssa's favorite animal and it was a "penguin party") or you can have them freestyle it like Sadie and Brandon did.

Next you cover the designs with wax paper and iron them with a non-steam iron to set the design into the shirt!  That's it!  Alyssa and Caleb wore their penguin shirts for YEARS AND YEARS and the design never bled in the dryer and never wore off.

There are so many possibilities with this idea... You could have everyone make their own shirts for a family reunion, sports team or play cast.  You could make shirts at a birthday party or slumber party (think big shirts to sleep in).  I find iron on transfer books at thrift stores from the days of Tri-Chem painting EVERYTHING... You could iron a design onto the shirts and have the kids color in the design.  Kids love making something they can wear! 

Sadie and Brandon all finished and proud of their shirts!

Campfire Boiled Eggs

This is Nina's "why are you taking a picture of me holding an egg?" smile :)

How many of you have boiled an egg in a paper cup before? I can't be the only one who thinks this is cool!

Place an egg in a paper cup full of water and place on hot coals.

The cup will burn down to the water level, but not further. The egg happily boils in the cup. Amaze your kids with this trick! Ok... maybe they won't be amazed, but they'll at least be mildly entertained! hehehe

Lunch Box Ideas: Bentos for Kids

I had never even heard of "bento" box lunches until one of my coworkers introduced me to them. I did a google image search and showed my girls. They were SO excited! They get so tired of taking the same things to lunch all the time. This is a way they can be creative which their lunches. Nina and Alyssa decided to make "practice" lunches. I didn't really have box lunch items since it's summertime, but I think Nina did pretty good with what she found.

You can find all sorts of fun things to add to your bento boxes online and at Asian stores, but it's fun to get creative with what you have at home too!




And then there's Alyssa's bento creation. She's such a kook. She worked forever on it. What a goof-ball!

15 Tips for Traveling with Kids

Car trips with children are rarely fun. They get bored, they bother each other, they're uncomfortable and so on and so on... Here are 15 tips for traveling in the car with kids:

#1~ A travel journal is a fun idea to keep kids busy as they are traveling. Buy each kid a journal or notebook before the trip. (Dollar stores have a great assortment.) Have them each journal the trip as they go along. They can write about places or interesting things that they see. As you see something of interest, remind them to write it in their journal. They can also draw pictures. They will enjoy going back through it afterwards and remembering everything they did and saw.

2~ Let the kids document the trip with pictures from their point of view. Buy each kid their own disposable camera and let them have at it.

3~ When we go on a road trip I let each kid take pictures of whatever they want. Before the trip I buy small scrapbooks, glue sticks, stickers, colored paper, markers etc. (Once again, gotta love the dollar store.) Before we head home we find a one hour photo developer. I usually add to their pictures with some that I've taken. That way they also have pictures of themselves on the vacation. The kids have fun making scrapbooks on the way home. It's a great keepsake.

4~ Purchase a CD of cheesy kids songs. We found one for $2.99 at a thrift store that has all kinds of old-fashioned kids songs that we didn't know along with all the classics we did. Disney music is also great to listen to in the car. Alternating CDs you want to listen to with ones they want to listen to, helps the time go by faster.

5~ We also like to listen to books and stories on CD. I found a set of classic and scripture stories on CDs at a thrift store. They are old-fashioned, like a radio show, with a good moral to the story. At first the kids grumbled and moaned about listening to “old stuff” but within minutes they were hooked and now we listen to them anytime we travel. We also like to check out books on CD from the library when we travel. It keeps everyone quiet because they want to know what happens.

6~ I used to have a yard sale each year. I kept the money from the kids' items separate. I'd split the money evenly between them and put it away for vacation so they could use it for souvenirs or treats along the way. They are more likely to clean out their things and get rid of old toys if they know what the money will be used for.

7~ Give kids a map of where you are going. Make sure it's one they can write on. Then they can mark where they have been, decorate it and write notes on it if they like.

8~ Play games like the alphabet game (looking for A-Z on signs), I Spy and the license plate game (try to find a license plate from each state).

9~ Play the “And” game”. One person goes first. They say something like “milk and ___”. Everyone else shouts out “cookies”. Or “peanut butter and ___”, everyone shouts out “jelly”. Take turns switching people after 4 or 5 sayings. My kids played this for quite a while and cracked each other up with the random things they said.

10~ Give each kid a roll of tin foil. (Take them out of the boxes so they don't get cut on the sharp edge.) Let them make sculptures, crowns, snakes etc. out of the foil.

11~ I scope out the Red Box locations along the way. Since you can rent a movie at one location and return it at another, we can rent a movie they've never seen before and return it at our next potty stop.

12~ When we would go on a long car trip I use to purchase small gifts for the kids and wrap them like presents. I purchased them mostly at the dollar store. As they'd start into the “are we there yet?” and “I'm bored” I'd give them a gift to unwrap. I would usually plan on one every 1-2 hours. Some gift ideas are: fun notebook and pen, new coloring book, travel game, ring pops, new inexpensive toy, and they usually get a new DVD to watch on the way that they can open together. (I grab DVDs to put away for gifts when I find them for really cheap like the day after Thanksgiving.)

13~ Let the kids each pack their own travel fun bag filled with things to keep them occupied. My kids usually fill theirs with books, small toys, mp3 players or walkmans, a notebook and pen, etc.


14~ Gallon-sized ziplock bags are your best friend. They work great for storing trash on a long trip without everyone smelling it and they're FABULOUS as puke bags. The kids can throw up into the bag and zip it up. Then you aren't smelling it the whole way before you get to a trash can.

15~ Speaking of puking... did you know Benadryl is the active ingredient in motion sickness pills? (FYI, It's also the active ingredient in "PM" meds to make you sleep.) It's much cheaper though, plus you can use it for allergy attacks. You have no idea what your kids may react to when away from home. All three of my kids have been prone to carsickness since they were babies. Benadryl not only keeps them from throwing up it also helps them to peacefully sleep much of the trip away.

Of course using these ideas doesn't make the car trips go perfectly smooth, but they help out a ton... Happy Vacationing :)

Kids' Christmas Goodie Bags

Purchasing gifts for all of my kids' "best friends" can get pricey and we've been slacking at making anything this year, so off to Walmart I went... and let me just share with you my Walmart experience...

The kids and I went to Walmart and bought the candy for these little goodie bags. I got home, emptied the bags and realized I was missing most of my stuff. I went back to Walmart, checked with the cashier I had purchased my items from and was told to go to customer service.

 I stood in line got up to the front and realized I had left my receipt in the car.... went back to my car, got my receipt, walked back in, stood in line and then waited while they tried to track down my bag of stuff... finally they had me just go back around the store gathering up all the items I was missing and get back in the long line so they could bag the stuff for me.

By the time I finally got back home with the stupid stuff I was SO not in a holiday mood! But... seeing the kids having so much fun putting together their friends' gifts cheered me up just a bit.

Each goodie bag has a marshmallow snowman, a little chocolate Santa and a holiday ring sucker inside. I bought the cellophane bags at the dollar spot in Target (LOVE Target!) We did 17 goodie bags for under $10 and the kids are so happy to have something to give their buddies.

Homemade Lunchables :)

I think all kids love "Lunchables". I'm not so much a fan of paying $1 or more for each one though, so we make ours homemade. The kids get a fun lunch... I don't have to waste my money... it's win-win! I don't do the american cheese slice thing, so they're getting a healthier lunch too.

We have been using older boxes of baggies from my grandma's house and Alyssa picked up this one and said,"So is this like some old fashioned baby finger?" I was laughing so hard. I have the weirdest kids!

Homemade Fast Food Party Idea

Who needs to waste money on totally grease-filled fast food? Not us!


We had our own fun Fast Food Friday family night!

I bought the popcorn boxes at Target in January. I paid $1 for an eight pack. The plastic baskets and hot dog holders were a recent yard sale find. They came together and there were eight of each for only a buck. I pick up the little portion cups and fast food trays at thrift stores and yard sales whenever I see them. I can usually get a huge unopened pack for a dollar or less because people buy them for big parties and don't want what's left.

Friday at work we received a box of promotional items for an upcoming movie. We're a performance hall, not a movie theater, so they don't do us much good. I got a bag, a really cool light-up mirror for my purse and I grabbed four of these paper cups. They were exactly what I was missing and they showed up on the day I needed them! The table cloth was a .25 discount store find and I just thought the tickets were a fun addition :)



Here's what was on the menu:

-turkey hot dogs w/buns & ketchup
-baked chicken nuggets
-baked french fries w/mozzarella cheese
-homemade milkshakes made with light ice cream and skim milk
-fry sauce made with low fat mayo & ketchup or bbq sauce (depending on the person)
-water bottles

I figure if you're going to eat fast foodie-type things, you might as well healthy them the best you can, which doesn't mean they are healthy, just healthier.

Sand Dough Fossils

Sand Dough

4 c. sand
2 c. corn starch
4 tsp cream of tarter
3 c. hot water

Mix sand, cornstarch and cream of tartar in a large old saucepan (it will scratch your pan up!). Stir in hot water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until water is absorbed and mixture is too stiff to stir. Cool completely before using. Make sure you store in an air tight container in the fridge. This dough dries out pretty quickly.

To make fossils:

Press a small handful on to wax paper, flatten slightly. Press a little plastic dinosaur into the dough. You could also use sea shells or whatever else you want a fossil of. Be careful while it's drying. It gets really crumbly. Air dry for a couple of days. These dry out hard as a rock and make really cool fossils! I made three batches and did it with over 30 kids at an activity last week. It was a blast!!!